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Showing posts with label Environment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Environment. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Introducing the MBU: Phase One

 

Tonight I watched The Bees (Alfredo Zacarías, 1978), one of a series of the killer-bees-panic subgenre of the 1970s. John Saxon stars, so I immediately started texting Sean with a play-by-play of the film, mostly because for some reason Dad hated John Saxon and famously said he'd "shoot that son of a bitch" if he ever ran into him. Of course Dad actually would never do such a thing (although he did in a dream once, right in the face), but Sean and I have always found Dad's irrational hatred for an actor he never met pretty funny. 

Anyway, captured above is Sean's inspired moment where he laments the lack of an extended bee universe. I immediately dubbed it the "MBU," the Malevolent Bees Universe, aping Marvel's MCU, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 

Phase One of the MBU begins with a recut of Freddie Francis' The Deadly Bees (1966), in which a beekeeper creates a strain of killer bees and uses them to start killing people because the scientific community doesn't take him seriously. After the bees kill a few people on remote Seagull Island, the mad beekeeper's plans are thwarted by a rival, ethical beekeeper. 

Phase One continues with Invasion of the Bee Girls (Denis Sanders, 1973). By looping in some new dialogue, it should be easy to connect this film with The Deadly Bees by revealing that the formula used to create the bee girls of this film draws upon the science established by the mad beekeeper in the first film. 

Next, Curtis Harrington's 1974 made-for-TV thriller Killer Bees our heroine, Victoria, encountering an eccentric family who are using Africanized bees to improve yields at their vineyard. With some editing tricks, we can connect villainess Madam Van Bohlen to the first two films by suggesting that her psychic power to control bee swarms is a result of experiments from the first two films. We could also suggest that our heroine, Victoria, is an ex-Bee Girl. By film's end, she has become the new Bee Queen. Perhaps we'll see her again...

Mission: Impossible creator Bruce Geller produced and directed The Savage Bees (1976), in which savage bees stow away on a freighter and attack partiers at Mardi Gras. With some simple newly-shot scenes, we can create a framing story that reveals the Bee Queen is behind this attack. 

Believe it or not, there was a sequel to The Savage Bees: Terror Out of the Sky (Lee H. Katzin, 1978). This time (thanks once again to some newly-shot footage), the Bee Queen uses her psychic bee control powers to attack a school bus, a marching band, a truck driver, and other unfortunates. What is her overarching plan? 

In Irwin Allen's The Swarm (1978), the bees mount their greatest assault yet, invading the continental United States in full force with only an all-star cast of classic Hollywood greats (Fred MacMurray! Olivia de Haviland! Michael Caine! Richard Widmark! Lee Grant! Ben Johnson! Richard Chamberlain! Henry Fonda! Katharine Ross! Slim Pickens!) standing against...THE SWARM! (And the Bee Queen, thanks to some dialogue looping and new scenes, of course.) 

Phase One of the MBeeU concludes, fittingly, with The Bees. After a tremendous amount of hilarious carnage, John Saxon learns how to communicate with the bees and basically acts as their spokesperson at the United Nations. The bees swarm the General Assembly, and in a fantastic cliffhanger to end Phase One, Saxon sides with the bees to demand humanity surrender control to the bees - or face genocide by bee sting. Wow, Dad was right: John Saxon really was a son of a bitch! At least in this role...

 

Friday, November 01, 2019

Blade Runner 2019

Edmonton
November, 2019

When I watched Blade Runner 2049 in the theatre two years ago, I was profoundly moved by Denis Villeneuve's vision of Las Vegas, a sandblasted, orange-hued, radiation-scarred wasteland littered with the gigantic fallen idols of exploitative, runaway capitalist excess. Just as in Ridley Scott's original Blade Runner film, Villeneuve presents us with what some science fiction critics call a "crapsack world," one ruined by some kind of catastrophe, usually caused by humanity's shortsighted folly. In the case of the world of Blade Runner, the wildly overpopulated and perpetually rain-slicked dystopia of November 2019 (we know the date from the film's title card) is an environment so oppressive that the abused androids have more humanity than the actual humans in the film. If anything, the world of Decker and the Nexus androids has grown even more bleak by 2049, still a world divided between the rich elite and the exploited masses, human and manmade, kept in line by bread, circuses, and to perhaps a lesser extent the implied threat of quasi-fascist police violence. Both movies are gorgeous, thought-provoking, and ultimately heartbreaking. The films, together with the book, are a warning: this is the way the world is headed, if not in fine detail, then in general outcomes. 

Now our timeline has caught up with that of the first Blade Runner film. It's November 2019, and while our world can't quite yet be called a dystopian crapsack, I wonder how it will look in 2049, or 2099. If we are very fortunate, the visions of Scott and Villeneuve and, of course, the visionary Philip K. Dick, will have scared just enough of us just enough to steer the ship of history on a better course. 

Friday, March 21, 2014

An Alberta Legend Passes On

CBC reports that Al Oeming, he of the Alberta Game Farm, died earlier this week. Zoos get a bad rap these days and I'm not well-informed enough to debate their merits, but as I wrote in one of this blog's most popular posts, the Alberta Game Farm left quite an impression on me. It was quite a thrill when just a couple of weeks ago Al's son Todd commented on that post, outlining some of his plans for the site; you can see what the younger Oeming is up to at www.wildsplendor.com. I'm sure Todd will build a legacy his father would be proud of. 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Fulfilled in the Landfill

Sean is moving to a new condo, so today Dad and I made a trip to the landfill to dispose of Sean's old sectional. I admired the cheerful defiance of the festively orange Home Depot barrels, seeming relaxed and carefree despite their bleak new surroundings. 

Monday, February 20, 2012

Edge of Nowhere

CBC has announced the longlist of 35 finalists for the 2012 Canada Writes short story contest. As I expected, my story, "Edge of Nowhere," didn't make the cut. Congratulations to the longlisted folks - the stories must be pretty great, to be selected from over 3,000 entries!

As promised (or threatened), I've posted my story below. For a really terrific image inspired by this story, please visit Jeff Shyluk's Visual Blog.

Edge of Nowhere
(June 2033)
I deserved no sanctuary, but as the merciless sun beat down on the carbon-blackened office towers of Calgary, frying what had briefly been the world's most valuable real estate, I behaved like every other panicking rat and used the last of my considerable resources to escape. While flames licked at the ring roads and maglev rails surrounding the city, I loaded up my Nissan-Ford Dreadnought with supplies and headed east, alone, protected from consequences by my shell of steel and plastic. My flight wasn't rational; there was no safety anywhere, not now that we'd wrecked the whole world, smothered it in greenhouse gases and pollution. But like any terrified animal, I followed the most likely escape route, and at that moment of ultimate fear I chose to go home - home to Manitoba, and perhaps, if I were more lucky than sane, if there really were no justice, home to another land I knew - or hoped - lay hidden beneath the Canadian Shield. I would escape through the sinkhole, exchange this ruined home for another more pristine and innocent. For passage, I would let my abandoned conscience be my coin.

(July 1976)
As a child I spent my summers playing Cops and Robbers or Forest Rangers in the sinkhole that bordered the western side of Leaf Rapids, Manitoba, a town on the edge of nowhere resting within a vast expanse of thick boreal forest. Imagine if God grabbed a battleship and shoved it into the earth to leave an impression, like a kid making a moat for his sand castle; the sinkhole was like that, a huge divot in the forest on the outskirts of town.

To a seven year old, the sinkhole was a magical place, its moss-carpeted floor, pine-needled pathways and towering trees wrapping children in an aura of mystery and adventure. The sinkhole was so deep, its walls so steep, the trees so thick that when you reached the bottom you could barely see the blue sky far above. Some days, clutching a plastic water pistol in one hand and a die-cast six-gun in the other, I knew if I followed the right path I could walk to another world, a fairytale place where I could kill monsters and rescue princesses.

On one such day, toy weapons in hand, I tripped over an exposed tree root near the top of the sinkhole. I rolled head-over-heels down the steep incline, bruising and scraping my limbs and back against tree trunks and exposed stone, screaming all the way down to the bottom. I landed flat on my back with a breath-stealing, bone-rattling thump. I wound up in a thick patch of moss, dazed, staring up at the sky through the treetops. For a few minutes I sobbed for air, tears streaking my dirt-stained face, whimpering. Eventually I realized that I wasn't really hurt, and with youthful resilience I stood up, gathered my guns and went about my imaginary business. On that day I decided to visit one of my favourite spots in the sinkhole, a huge tree that had fallen on its side in a long-ago catastrophe. The exposed root system, ripped from the earth and thus lying perpendicular to the ground, formed a sort of abbreviated cave. In the right light, the shadows seemed to suggest that the darkness hid not dead wood but a tunnel to another world.

When I reached the fallen tree, I was surprised to see someone had already laid claim to the cave: a pretty little girl, serving invisible tea to her teddy bear. I was a little annoyed by this intrusion, but I had accumulated enough schoolyard wisdom to recognize the iron rule of "firsties."

“Hi,” I said, “What’s your name?”

“Judith,” she said. “No guns allowed.”

“Oh,” I said, and turned to leave. But she insisted I stay for a spot of tea, and not wanting to hurt her feelings I shoved my guns in my pockets and sat down in the moss to endure a few minutes of pretend teatime. My head started to hurt a little; while I may have already forgotten the fall, it hadn’t forgotten me.

Judith said she was a princess whose parents only allowed her to visit Leaf Rapids once a month. This was a silly place, she pronounced, a dirty place of greedy people who’d be sorry soon enough, according to her parents. I played along politely, although I thought she was laying it on a little thick. Leaf Rapids and its people seemed nice enough to me, the kids, anyway. I was itching to play guns with Jeff or Melvin or Kelly, who could usually be counted upon to show up at the sinkhole eventually, but not, evidently, today.

“I have to go,” she said at length. “One day, you must visit. But no guns.” And then Judith smiled, took her teddy bear by the arm, and walked into the shadows at the back of the tree trunk, leaving behind only a cracked and broken old tea set. I blinked, stared into the empty space where the girl had been, and ran home crying to Mother, who chalked the story up to my overactive imagination and the trauma of the fall.

A couple of years later, our family left Leaf Rapids behind to surf the waves of black gold propelling Alberta's latest oil and gas boom. For the longest time, I forgot Judith and her bear.

(June 2033)
There came a day when the roar of anti-tank rockets and the staccato crash of machine-gun fire against metal and glass drove me out of downtown Calgary. After one close call too many, I locked down the mansion, revved up the Dreadnought, fought my way through the city's congestion until at last I hit the open road.

Even as algal blooms choked whole industries and communities on Canada's warming, sinking coasts, Alberta remained wealthy, at least on paper. Despite everything, the world couldn't get enough oil, so Albertans had the money and power to insulate themselves from most of the effects of climate change, determined 99-percenters aside. We all knew deep down that it was a temporary respite. The droughts that had emptied rural Alberta and swollen Edmonton and Calgary to bursting with refugees served as ample evidence that our relative good fortune couldn't last forever.

As I drove along the cracked and rubble-strewn highways that connected Calgary to Saskatoon, Flin Flon, Thompson and eventually Leaf Rapids, I wondered how much the sinkhole had changed, if global warming had extended its alchemy even to the far north. I wondered if the Churchill River had overrun its banks.

A quick tour of the old streets revealed the town was abandoned. I parked the truck on the path nearest the sinkhole and debarked. The air was fresh, the sky clear. I’d come far enough to escape climate change, at least until the supplies in the Dreadnought ran out. I suppose it was possible I could live on berries and fish for a while, but I had no illusions that I’d be able to survive a Manitoba winter without electricity. A childhood fantasy was my only real hope of true escape. At the back of my mind I wondered where the townspeople had gone.

I climbed down into the sinkhole, the walls as steep as they had been in my innocence. When I reached bottom, I knelt and sank into the thick carpet of moss on the sinkhole's floor. I thought of my wife and children, wondered where they were now, if they’d managed to find safe haven after abandoning me to my paper riches.

I realized that I'd been seized by temporary madness. Judith had never existed. Mom was right; I'd imagined everything, seeking refuge in nostalgia. I stood and headed for the fallen tree-cave anyway. It was gone; the earth had reclaimed it. For a long while, I stared into space. There was no sound but the occasional rustle of a squirrel darting from tree to tree.

Just as I started to turn back for the return trip, Judith called my name.

"You've returned as I said you must," she said. "You left your guns behind?"

If I'd gone crazy, I might as well embrace it.

"Sure, no guns. They were a metaphor, right? A symbol of the corruption of progress or something."

She was beautiful, somewhere in her late 20s or early 30s, if age meant anything to an illusion. She looked puzzled.

"No, we just don't allow guns in Adanac. We're strict about some things. Ready to join the rest of the townspeople?"

I shrugged and nodded, stuffing my hands in my pockets as she led me deeper into the trees. My sins continued to burn behind me, and I wondered, before the darkness took us, if there really was no justice, or if there was merely too much mercy. Sometimes good things happen to bad people. Sometimes bad people happen to good planets.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Good People, Big Ideas, Better Government

Full disclosure: while most of my readers know that I work for the Official Opposition and I've volunteered for the Alberta Liberal Party, I played no role in the development of their just-released platform - aside from contributing one photograph. 

Today the Alberta Liberal Party released its platform for the election to come this spring. Titled simply "Yes" and divided into three sections - Good People, Big Ideas, Better Government - the platform is a bold and brave statement of vision and principle.

Since ALP Leader Raj Sherman is an emergency room doctor, it should come as no surprise that fixing the public health care system is one of the cornerstones of his party's platform. He aims to cut non-emergency surgery wait times to six months, and emergency room treatment within six hours. (A six-hour wait would be a vast improvement compared to what happened to Sylvia back when she broke her leg in 2007.) He also proposed to put decision-making back in the hands of front-line health care professionals and get every Albertan access to a family doctor. And for anyone worried about the state of care for seniors, Sherman is promising to invest heavily in public home care and public long-term care. This is necessary for two reasons: one, Alberta's seniors deserve to live in dignity. And two, caring for seniors appropriately means getting them out of acute care, which frees up hospitals and emergency rooms, unclogging the system - and saving a whole pile of taxpayer money.

For parents, Sherman is promising greater access to quality pre-school and non-profit day care, better parental leave, an end to school fees and a school lunch program.

A post-secondary endowment would eliminate post-secondary tuition.  Other endowments will support the arts and amateur sport.

But how to pay for these promises? Well, according to the conventional wisdom of the post-Reagan era, it's political suicide to campaign on raising taxes. And yet the Alberta Liberals are promising a progressive tax that would increase rates on those earning $100,000 or more and a corporate tax hike of twelve percent, up two from the current rate of ten percent. That adds up to about $1.4 billion in annual revenue. Combined with over $200 million in cuts to wasteful spending, including communications (ulp!), funding for private schools, subsidized carbon capture and storage (CCS), fewer MLAs and fewer government ministries, that's an extra $1.6 billion to help eliminate the deficit and pay for the Liberals' ambitious social programs.

The Alberta Liberals are also proposing a revenue-neutral carbon levy to cap greenhouse gas emissions, reward companies who successfully reduce emissions, and fund green transportation and environmental innovation. (CORRECTION: this proposal is not revenue neutral; it would produce $1.8 billion a year when fully phased in, a four-year process. $900 million would go back to emitters and $900 million would be used to fund green transportation. Thanks to Alex for the correction!)

The platform also features some welcome democratic reforms, chief among them instant run-off elections, an idea I've blogged about before. Alberta Liberals also promise more free votes in the legislature, a simpler and more transparent pay structure for MLAs, truly fixed election dates (as opposed to the "election season" Premier Redford has created), recall legislation and more.

In fact, there's a lot more, including help for the energy sector, a better deal for municipalities, new consumer protections, a plan to decrease power bills...I hope Albertans will read the whole document - and, of course, the platforms of the other parties when they're released.

Will this vision convince Albertans to support the province's most venerable party? Maybe, maybe not, but I'm proud of the party for stepping way outside its comfort zone and wearing its liberal heart on its sleeve. Win or lose, Alberta Liberals can be proud for campaigning on a truly Liberal platform - fiscally responsible while investing in the programs and services that ensure no Albertan is left behind.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Cushion Blur

Some time ago, I shot this photo of an old sofa cushion being tossed into the Leduc landfill. I wanted to jazz the photo up a little and make some kind of pithy statement about pollution, but instead I accidentally created this interesting effect with the radial blur tool. I think it looks kinda neat.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Showering at the South Pole

I consider my ability to enjoy a hot shower every day one of the greatest luxuries in life and a great achievement of science and civilization. It's a pleasure I never take for granted, and even understanding the environmental costs, one I hope to never surrender. But a stray thought made me wonder if we could redesign the typical shower to improve its efficiency.

When I shower on a chilling fall or winter morning, I notice that even while surrounded by the heat of the water I'll still feel a chill in my extremities thanks to the cooler air beyond the shower doors (or curtain, if I'm downstairs). While observing this phenomenon this morning, I wondered what would happen if the shower and I were suddenly transported to the South Pole, with the shower still, somehow, in operating condition, pumping an endless supply of hot water. How long would it take you to freeze to death? Shower doors provide virtualy no insulation, being glass; a curtain wouldn't be much better. My own shower is open at the top, since the doors don't extend to the ceiling. Even given an unlimited supply of hot water, I imagine the exothermic reaction would quickly suck most of the heat out of the shower and into the frigid Antarctic, dooming the showering human to an agonizing death.

Barring the intervention of sadistic deities or advanced aliens, such an event is, I admit, unlikely. But it does make me wonder about all that wasted heat. Could we design showers to trap all that waste heat and pump it back into the hot water tank somehow? Or distribute it through the vents to help heat the home? Would it be cost-effective to do so? Do they already do this in the top-secret underground lairs of shadowy spy agencies?


Could we design and build a more environmentally friendly, less wasteful shower...one I don't have to feel guilty about using?

Monday, September 05, 2011

Recreational Outrage

During my travels this summer I noticed an inordinate number of recreational vehicles. I was awestruck by the sheer mass of some of these behemoths, some as large as commuter buses, rivalling 18-wheel transport trucks in size and often hauling SUVs.

How rich, I thought, does someone have to be to pursue this sort of lifestyle? Apparently the vehicles themselves can cost up to $2.5 million - over five times the value of our home! The gas mileage on any of these vehicles must be terrible, and filling the tank can cost hundreds of dollars.

If you're rich enough to drive a mansion on wheels from Virginia to Alaska, I suppose you're unlikely to be concerned about fuel economy. But here's what really puzzles me: if you have enough money to burn on such extravagance, why waste it driving it cross-country for dozens of hours? Why not just fly first-class and stay in the most expensive hotels available? Okay, so you drive because you want to see the countryside; I can understand that. So why not drive a souped-up convertible and, again, stay in hotels? If what you want is luxury, doesn't that make more sense than parking your million-dollar vehicle in a campground with the plebes?

I don't get it.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Nature's Incinerator

Tonight, over a bowl of Cheerios, I asked Sylvia why humanity doesn't just dump all its trash into live volcanoes.

"Ask Al Gore," she said.

Of course it's a remarkably stupid idea, but the thought does make me laugh. It's the sort of solution that the Three Stooges would come up with: just load up your pickup truck with trash, dump it over the side of the crater, and poof! Problem solved in a puff of smoke. Never mind that there are only so many volcanoes on earth or the catastrophic consequences of old refrigerators, used Kleenexes, bald tires and never-used exercise equipment being blown all over the countryside during the inevitable eruption. 

Actually, I can see this serving as the germ of a plot for a James Bond movie. Instead of turning a volcano into a secret SPECTRE base, the bad guys dump toxic chemicals or radioactive material into Krakatoa (or whatever) and cackle gleefully as they turn Mother Nature into the ultimate terrorist. Hey, there's the tagline for the poster:

Mother Nature is the ultimate terrorist. 

Shia LaBoef is Ian Fleming's James Bond 007 in

DIAMONDKILL

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Laurie Blakeman on Conservation, Land Use and Oil Sands Development



Alberta Liberal MLA and Official Opposition Environment Critic Laurie Blakeman points out that the Alberta government is on the cusp of making some far-reaching decisions about how land in the Lower Athabasca region will be developed in the long term, and how much of that land - currently up to a mere twenty percent - will be conserved, leaving eighty percent open to development. The Alberta government will be holding open public stakeholder meetings at various communites in Alberta throughout September, and you can also leave your thoughts online. Visit http://www.landuse.alberta.ca/ for details.

Full disclosure: as a staff member of the Official Opposition, I did a small amount of work on this video (I took a couple of the still photos).

Edited to add: for some reason, embedding videos doesn't work very well with my blog setup, resulting in some of the image being cut off at the right. Until I solve this problem, you can also view the video here.