Acid-Washed Jeans

Sometime between 1991 and 1994, while working as a parts driver for Norwest Automotive, I picked up a used car battery from one of our customers. I didn't think anything of it in the moment; I'd picked up used parts for disposal several times already, and this was just one more instance. 

But a couple of hours later, I noticed that my bluejeans were developing white patches in odd places, starting just below my pelvis. Over the course of the day, those white patches spread and the miscoloured denim thinned, By the time I returned home, my pants had developed huge rends, tears and gaps, disintegrating almost entirely into scraps not long after I removed my shoes. 

I figured that the battery must have cracked and leaked some mildly corrosive form of acid down my pants. Certainly my legs were quite itchy by the end of the day, and they'd taken on a slightly pinkish hue. A thorough scrubbing in the shower relieved those symptoms. 

I had occasion to tell Mom and Sean this story tonight; credit goes to Sean for coming up with the perfect title for this post. 

Mirva Suomi

Here's another frosty Finn, flare gun ready to signal for help. 
 

Gideon Hakala

A Finn in a snowsuit, featuring my first application of Vallejo frost effects. 
 

Bobby with a Bullet

I think this guy was meant to be a British bobby, but they don't carry guns, do they? Maybe just for special occasions. 

 

Professor Price

Hmm. He does look a little bit like Vincent Price. Maybe I should add a moustache. 
 

This One Is Lovely

While driving from Leduc to Edmonton on Saturday night, YouTube music's algorhytim slid "This One" through my speakers. To the best of my memory, never before had I heard "This One," and it captured my heart immediately; since that day I've played it dozens of times. 

There's always something new and beautiful to discover, isn't there? 
 

Bluey Jones

Crusty old coot, but dependable, forthright, and honest. 
 

Villista Bandito

 

User Interface Update

Note for readers: I have updated the "Most Popular," "Book, Film, Television, Food, and Concert Reviews" and "Short Stories" link columns down the side of The Earliad. 

USS Manitoba

This season on Star Trek: Lower Decks, one of the show's recurring characters was transferred from the show's "hero ship," the USS Cerritos, to the USS Manitoba, named for the province of my birth. Naturally I'm tickled, even though we don't actually see the Manitoba on screen, and the series' untimely cancellation after this season means we're unlikely to ever see it. 

Still, Manitoba represent! 

The Good, the Bad, and the Needs Revision

Midway through one of my political science courses at the University of Alberta, my professor pulled me aside for a chat after class. 

"What happened with this essay? You've done very well on your exams, so I know you can do better than this. It reads like a Time magazine article." 

For a second, I was confused. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something along the lines of "Isn't that good?" 

"No, no," he said. It's well-written, but it lacks depth. There's no real analysis here, it's just a shallow summary of the subject matter. You need to dive deeper, think harder about the subject matter, do some extra research, develop your own thoughts." 

Those may not be the professor's exact words, but that was their spirit, and they hit me hard--because I knew he was right. Sometimes, when I'm not motivated or invested or I've left an assignment to the last minute, I can get lazy and produce material that doesn't reflect my full potential. It still happens on this very blog! 

A little over a decade later, my friend Bruce (then my supervisor), criticized a story I'd written for our gardening magazine in much the same way, comparing it to a freelance article I'd written about Superman. The words he used were different, but his point was the same--and like my professor, Bruce was right. 

During my time at the University of Alberta and at my corporate writing jobs across the years, I've written plenty of stories and speeches that I'm quite proud of. But there's also a large collection of pieces I know could have been better. 

I feel especially bad to have let my professor and Bruce down, back then, and I'm sure those weren't the only instances when a teacher or colleague or client was disappointed by my work. 

It makes you wonder if writers of, say, Hemingway's caliber have drawers full of old articles and stories that they look upon with a bit of self-loathing. 

On the bright side, it's a real pleasure when you stumble upon a work you've forgotten and think to yourself, "Hey, I wrote this? I did, and wow, it's pretty good." 

When I look back on my career, I hope I can say I wrote more good stories than bad. 

Jezebel Diamond

This Pulp Figure came with a microphone, so I painted the base as though it were a stage floor. White paint is lumpy here, but not as bad as it could have been. 

 

Cool Under Pressure

Another Occult Science Reservist. I painted all the minis of this type with speed paints. They are indeed speedy, but I'm not sure I like the look as much as...non-speed paints? 
 

Occult Science Reservist

What eldritch horror compels this man to rend his hair asunder? 

 

The Motion Picture

"Just a Motion Away," from Gino Vanelli's 1984 album Black Cars, tells the story of two people in the process of possibly reconnecting after many years apart. Perhaps they were former lovers, or merely potential lovers who remained apart for reasons unknown to us, the listeners. 

The point of view of the singer-narrator makes it clear he's hoping the person he desires feels the same way, and encourages them to leave the past behind and start a new chapter. To paraphrase some of the lyrics, "Chance is knocking on our door to open up our ailing hearts once more . . . it's just a motion away." 

Whenever I hear this song, I wonder about the nature of that motion, the one that will set our lovers on a new (and perhaps more fulfilling) path. Do they reach out to hold hands? Do they hug? Smile? Nod yes? 

For several decades now, I've thought of fictions, large or small, as simply things that really happen on some other plane of existence (or, conversely, whatever we imagine springs into being on those other planes). When a story ends ambiguously, or when it's missing key details, I can't help but wonder about these things. Because somehow, somewhere, they happened or will happen. 

Is that madness? 

 

Sylvia's Massager

This happened back in February. 
 

Fixing a Die Cast Eagle Freighter

 

Professor Rockstompin

In a rare reversal of fortune, I seem to have done a better job of painting the face than the body of a 28mm miniature. I'll take it. 
 

Cry, Little Sister

A decent face! Huzzah! 
 

Americano Mercenario

 

Zapatista Rifleman

 

Visitor Tanker

When the Visitors came to Earth, they pretended to be our friends. But they really wanted our water, and they used these tankers to steal it. Jeff spent hours 3D printing the pieces, and then I spent hours assembling and painting the model. I used an entire bottle of white paint--four or five thin coats--to achieve this look. I'm getting better with white thanks to these kinds of opportunities to practice. 
 

A Cylon Points the Way

 

Jungle Chimp

One of my better simians. I fixed the yellow bit atop his head after seeing the close-up photo. 
 

Watch the Dynamite Lady Blow Herself Apart

Many years ago, I remember laughing at a commercial for a monster truck show. The highlight was when the announcer screamed "Watch the Dynamite Lady BLOW HERSELF APART!" 

Feels like the Dynamite Lady really blew herself apart today. That I painted this miniature a few days ago is an odd coincidence or an unfortunate portent. You decide. 
 

Skyfighter

 

Visitor Trio

We three visitors from afar
Come to leave the Earth clad in scars
Water stealing, humans eating
We're green lizards in disguise

Oh, oh
Ship so massive
Ship of might
Ship to set your towns alight
Burning pyre civ's on fire
Humanity's endless night

NOT ANOTHER TIME LOOP! DRONETROOPERS TO THE RESCUE!

Cargo Snow Coach

 

Plane Crash

You're a Wizard!

Steve and I traded some miniatures, and I painted this one in earth tones. Looks decent, I'd say.