A couple of days ago Jeff e-mailed me about Bruce Lee Game, restless because he couldn't get the classic out of his head. Hoping to soothe Jeff somewhat, I responded by sharing my concept for the ultimate film:
Bruce Lee vs. The Three Stooges
Many years ago I imagined a movie called Bruce Lee vs. the Three Stooges. In the film, the Stooges have set up their own dojo as a get-rich-quick scheme. They develop a style called Prat Fu (in the screenplay only, the name isn't actually used in dialogue). Due to a misunderstanding, Bruce Lee comes to believe that an assault on his own dojo was orchestrated by the Stooges (it was actually executed by Evil Ninjas in Stooge costumes and carried out in Bruce's absence; it's Bruce's students who suffer the assault and name the fake Stooges as the assailants). Bruce Lee gets into a karate kung fu battle with the Stooges, with predictable results - in fact, the Stooges do more damage to themselves than Bruce does. Realizing the Stooges are too stupid and incompetent to have carried out the attack on his dojo, Bruce apologizes and enlists the Stooges in a plan to draw out the real culprits, using them as bait to lure the perpetrators out into the open. Bruce expects to have to rescue the hapless Stooges from the Evil Ninjas, but to Bruce's amazement the Stooges manage to overcome the Ninjas through completely accidental slapstick, plus a little sly behind-the-scenes help from Bruce - you can imagine the sort of thing I mean. After the fight, Bruce congratulates the bruised, dazed, but victorious Stooges on their prowess (with a knowing wink to the audience).
I like to think that as computers evolve, eventually I'll be able to plunk that paragraph into Make-My-Movie (TM) software and it'll spit out the finished film in a few minutes.
Bruce Lee vs. The Three Stooges
Many years ago I imagined a movie called Bruce Lee vs. the Three Stooges. In the film, the Stooges have set up their own dojo as a get-rich-quick scheme. They develop a style called Prat Fu (in the screenplay only, the name isn't actually used in dialogue). Due to a misunderstanding, Bruce Lee comes to believe that an assault on his own dojo was orchestrated by the Stooges (it was actually executed by Evil Ninjas in Stooge costumes and carried out in Bruce's absence; it's Bruce's students who suffer the assault and name the fake Stooges as the assailants). Bruce Lee gets into a karate kung fu battle with the Stooges, with predictable results - in fact, the Stooges do more damage to themselves than Bruce does. Realizing the Stooges are too stupid and incompetent to have carried out the attack on his dojo, Bruce apologizes and enlists the Stooges in a plan to draw out the real culprits, using them as bait to lure the perpetrators out into the open. Bruce expects to have to rescue the hapless Stooges from the Evil Ninjas, but to Bruce's amazement the Stooges manage to overcome the Ninjas through completely accidental slapstick, plus a little sly behind-the-scenes help from Bruce - you can imagine the sort of thing I mean. After the fight, Bruce congratulates the bruised, dazed, but victorious Stooges on their prowess (with a knowing wink to the audience).
I like to think that as computers evolve, eventually I'll be able to plunk that paragraph into Make-My-Movie (TM) software and it'll spit out the finished film in a few minutes.
Bruce Lee finds the passage to the secret lair and he sends the boys down the ladder first:
ReplyDelete(Curly accidentally puts his foot into Moe's eye on the way down}
MOE: Hey, Radish-head, you just stuck your foot in my eye!
CURLY: Didja get a kick out it, Moe?
LARRY: It's always nice to have a few puns to break the eyes.
BRUCE LEE: Gosh, these jokes are getting cornea and cornea...