Sylvia vs. the Spider

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Before Sylvia and I started dating, we were simply friends who enjoyed Scrabble. During those early weeks, we would often meet at one of the picnic tables in the Baywood Park courtyard to duel with letters.

During one such game, I noticed that a very large spider was slowly descending from the trees above, webslinging its way onto Sylvia's shoulder. I'd already learned that Sylvia reacts badly to bugs - very badly. I froze, unsure of what to do. Warn Sylvia, prompting a scream? Or do nothing, and hope that she wouldn't notice?

I opted for the latter. For long seconds, my strategy seemed to be working; the spider perched happily upon her shoulder, Sylvia none the wiser. Soon, I thought, the spider would scamper away and Sylvia would never know. Placidly, Sylvia examined her letters.

But then the spider leapt forward, springing from her shoulder right onto the table. Sylvia's eyes bugged out, then pinched shut as she clenched her fists and released a blood-curdling sonic scream Black Canary herself would have been proud of. The spider scurried away as I desperately plugged my ringing ears. Tree leaves fell from vibrating branches, and car alarms went off for blocks around. Our letters shook themselves off the board. I was certain that a SWAT team would appear at any moment, but eventually Sylvia's defensive wail died off and the world stopped spinning.

I exaggerate only a little.