The Strange Case of Mr. Woods and the Bubblegum Trap, or, An Evening with the Flagpole Impalers

What Gummed Up Earl's Works

I knew that opening the trash can was a mistake, but I had a receipt to throw away. So I flipped open the lid, and POW - buckets of bubble gum exploded into my face, leaving me stunned. The circus music that normally plays over and over in my head was suddenly replaced by George Harrison's "What is Life," and it seemed oh-so-appropriate - what is life? Life is when the garbage spits buckets of bubble gum in your face.

And yet, that was only the beginning of my troubles.